First, about your toker: I am a former cannabis industry worker and have been a Maryland medical cannabis patient since 2020. I’ve picked up a lot in my decade-plus of smoking, and making the switch to working at a dispo in 2024 only broadened this knowledge base for me. While I’m currently out of the industry, I smoke like a budtender. You can draw me in with a fun strain name or cool packaging, but I’m also a gamer — the stats have to check out for me, too.
I check for terpenes and minor cannabinoids like a Pokémon trainer building their strongest team. And while I do have profiles I tend towards, the fact of the matter is that I will smoke almost anything if the chemical makeup looks interesting to me. I also don’t particularly care about getting higher than high — while a high THC percentage is a bonus for me, these days I smoke mostly for specific effects, which means I’m generally looking for potent sativas, heavy indicas, and interesting hybrids.
You’ve probably already heard the rigamarole surrounding the limitations of sativa/indica classifications and terpene science. If you’re not familiar with terpenes, they’re aromatic hydrocarbon compounds found in most plants, including cannabis. Terps give rosemary leaves and lemon flowers and everything in between their distinctive smells. In-depth cannabis studies are limited due to the plant’s federally-illegal status, but we do know enough about terpenes to say for sure they play a part in a strain’s effects, and we can look at them to see (broadly) whether a strain leans sativa or indica. But as cannabis breeding evolves, growers cross-pollinate strains of all types to create new profiles, so even our usual sativa/indica terpene associations aren’t always exact.
I say this because I’m using all these terms relatively broadly in these reviews, and focusing mostly on the effects of some of my favorite strains from Maryland-based growers. When I say “sativa,” I am referring to strains with uplifting and energizing effects, and when I say “indica,” I am headed more in the direction of a nap. As the old saying goes, “Sativa in the streets and indica in the sheets.”
With the way cannabis science has grown, you can usually make an educated guess based on terpene content, but it is 100% my opinion that the only way to know for sure if you like a strain is to just try it. Let’s get rolling.
Heavy Sativa: Golden Pineapple from SunMed Growers
I cannot remember when the first time I tried Golden Pineapple was, but I know for sure it was in the form of a dab, or cannabis concentrate. I’d used my medical status to grab a supersized jar of it, and oh boy was I hungry for this energizing, piney-citrusy jumpstart to the system. I was the envy of all sativa divas in the greater Baltimore area.
This was the strain that made me fall in love with terpinolene, a terpene typically found in sativas and responsible for uplifting, creative, and focused effects. I didn’t understand how anyone could get work done while stoned until I tried this. Since then, I’ve tried to keep some on hand for when I really need to lock in on a project because nothing gets my brain going like terpinolene. I’ve always been able to focus when I put my mind to it, but never for this long.
But use it wisely — any time you get that much of an uplifting terp in one strain, it’s going to feel like listening to EDM while a child’s birthday party is doing laps in your head.
Pairs well with: a cold brew, a quiet room, and menial computer work.
Sativa Hybrid: Shrieker from Grow West
Shrieker was only the second strain I bought when I started working at a dispensary, and at first I picked it up purely based on the hype of my coworkers. I was on the tail end of grad school, working 40 hours a week and attending class at night. Perpetually tense, generally fatigued, and one small life disaster shy of a meltdown, to say I deserved a break was an understatement.
Billed as a straight-up sativa, I found that Shrieker is actually ideal for someone wanting balanced effects. I suffer from chronic migraines along with a suite of other bodily aches left over from working in the food and beverage industry. The more I smoked, the more my pain faded into the background, leaving me with just a whisper of headache (we can’t have it all). All the while, I was still alert and uplifted — no trace of couch lock to be found here.
Be warned, though: the pungent “litterbox” nose on this one is an acquired taste, but one that I found to be well worth the adjustment.
Pairs well with: a long day, a long run, or a long weekend away.
Hybrid: BLVCK Runtz from BL^CK MRKT
Bred by Maryland cannabis OGs using classic genetics, BLVCK Runtz is, in many ways, emblematic of the state’s cannabis scene in the year 2026. Black-owned BL^CK MRKT came around in mid-2025 with the latest batch of social equity grower licenses and gave tokers a slew of new favorites to puff on. And BLVCK Runtz lives up to its namesake, with a lightly fruity nose and lusciously sweet-peppery taste.
Smokers flock to hybrids for any number of reasons, and as cross-breeding continues, so too does the “hybrid” category continue to diversify. Still, I’m able to find strains like BLVCK Runtz (and its legendary genetic predecessors, Gelato and Zkittlez) which split the middle perfectly, striking a true balance between feeling like I can tackle the world and feeling like I could actually melt into my sofa right now.
This was the strain that got everyone in the dispensary talking — suddenly, it was all “When are we ordering BLVCK Runtz? When is the delivery? When does it drop? Will it be payday?” When something creates this much hype among cannabis workers, pay attention. We’re smokers too, first and foremost!
Pairs well with: a Boh, a group of friends, and a fiercely competitive Mario Kart tournament.
Heavy Indica: Deadband #12 from Evermore
Oh, Deadband #12, my beloved. Even though I am a sativa fanatic, I cannot help but appreciate the myrcene bomb this strain offers (myrcene, one of the terps found in mint, seems to be responsible for a lot of the sleepy effects of indica strains). Deadband #12 represents the true opposite end of the spectrum from Golden Pineapple’s zesty kickstart — this is a strain for my insomniacs, my anxious wrecks, my friends with a permanent case of the jitters.
And for my chronic pain warriors, while Deadband #12 won’t keep you very alert, it’s among only a handful of strains I reach for at the end of a long day knowing I will feel more relaxed after smoking. And it is great for pain. There was a period of time where I kept a jar of these joints in my bag, just in case I got a headache. It’s that good.
Deadband #12 is one of those rare cases, too, where the strain name completely matches what’s in the bag. My store got a particularly potent batch one Thanksgiving — turns out, there’s no cure for Black Friday week in retail like a strain that holds your body in eight continuous hours of sleep.
Pairs well with: a magnesium bath soak, a weighted eye mask, and a fluffy pillow.